Browsing the Blog category
Initiating a new phase
I’m starting to see that my blog has turned into an emotion wreck of entries. Well… let’s change things up a bit.
The thought occurred to me this week that I should start blogging about the things I find, especially new foods. There are some delicious things out there worth mentioning. I live relatively near a Trader Joe’s so I frequent the store more than I need to and I have found some interesting things there, like KIMCHI RICE! It’s in the frozen section of the store. It has an interesting taste and kick to it. I’m in love with it! However, I usually add my left over white rice into the mix while heating over the stove top because I don’t like over powering tastes in general. I’ll blog more about this later when I compile images. ^^
But yea, I’m getting tired of myself, and the mindset I’ve placed myself in is turning into a vicious cycle. I’m disappointing myself even more this time around, so something has to change within me. Don’t know where to start but I shall start by seeing myself more differently and express my inner me. My inner me truly wants to dye my hair… but I haven’t thought of which color yet. Maybe I should do it when I’m home so I have my mom’s tools at my disposal. But yea, I need to become less self conscious as well and just don’t care about how other people see me. I’m already 21. I should have embraced myself long ago and not realize it now. So what if I’m a little chubby? I’m a beautiful young woman inside and out regardless of my shape and how society perceives beauty.
Calming Down and Taking a Break
I know, I know, I need to calm down. I had a whirlwind of a week with my frantic bipolar emotions. Too many personal things occurred since the moment Spring Quarter began.
I’m going to take a break from my blog for a bit. I somehow started to depend on this place to express myself… and I’ve became a little bit more introverted and antisocial recently. I think I’d best be trying to connect with other humans and figure my way around this quarter.
One thing has come to light: my goal to graduate with honors. I truly forgot about this. I’m going to reattempt and try my best to boost my GPA to the standard I want it to be at… since letting myself fail and giving up is just too sad. I really don’t want to repeat these cycles that I’ve gotten myself in. I can’t believe I’ve allowed myself to feel okay with failing. I just launched myself backwards for no apparent reason.
Anyway, I’ll post again after two weeks (I want to see how long I last). Having one everyday is getting out of hand.
btw, comments are closed.
I went to a performance about self acceptance and empowerment today, and I truly feel empowered. The emotions felt during each performance were so raw and real. I felt like I could connect with each one. It was truly an awakening experience for me… which explains the two posts below. I’ve nagged on and on about him, but now I have the strength to just let it all go. I’ve vented out all my anger and I feel good. I was letting these little things pass by me like they were nothing, but what those little things did was build up inside until it crunched at my existence. I hate that I’m too observant, where I do tend to notice small things. I try to brush them off but it never works. I pay too much attention to my surroundings. I feel like I always need to be in control of things and of my every movement. I’m too cautious for my own good. I need to relax and embrace myself. Who cares if I get judged. Who cares if what I do changes people’s perception of me. I am me. I am just being me. Why do I need to wear a mask and give people a false impression of myself?